Cerebral Palsy Scotland

My experience of cerebral palsy and clubfoot – Christina MacLean

This is my second year taking part in Cerebral Palsy Awareness month. Reflecting on my experiences from last year, I have noticed a shift in how people perceive and understand the challenges faced by individuals with Cerebral Palsy and conditions like talipes equinovarus (also known as clubfoot). I was diagnosed with congenital Cerebral Palsy and born with club foot, both of which have had a major impact on my life.

From a young age, I have worn orthotics to support my feet and help with walking, my left foot is a size 6 and my right foot a size 4. These have been an essential part of my everyday life, providing stability and alignment needed to move more easily. Over time, wearing orthotics became a routine, but it wasn’t without its challenges. They were uncomfortable at times and often drew attention from others. People would sometimes stare at my feet or make negative comments. I have been called a “freak”, “disgusting” and “weird”.

Shopping for shoes has always been one of my worst nightmares, especially since I need to buy two pairs to accommodate both feet. When trying on shoes, I have often encountered employees who act surprised and will even call on other employees to share their disbelief. This lack of understanding makes the experience feel even more uncomfortable. At times, I cannot help but wonder if I am being judged or treated differently for something that’s entirely beyond my control.

Over the years, though, I have learned to handle these moments with more confidence. While I still feel the sting of negative comments, I have come to realise that their lack of understanding does not define me. As I continue to raise awareness, I hope that these experiences become less common, and people begin to approach these situations with more understanding and empathy. One day, I would love for shoe shops to be more inclusive, where I could buy both sizes I need as a pair – making the shopping experience easier and more comfortable for everyone.

What I want people to know about cerebral palsy – Rebecca McIntosh

As part of Cerebral Palsy Awareness Month, Rebecca shares what she wants people to know about cerebral palsy.

I wasn’t diagnosed with having Cerebral Palsy until I was 2yrs old, the doctors told my mum and dad I would never be intelligent enough to go to school because I wouldn’t understand words.

Forty years later, I was so nervous and excited sitting waiting for my name to be called out, I kept pinching myself to make sure it was really happening.

I heard my name being called all I could think of was not tripping on my gown, everyone was cheering I was finally holding my PG Dip in my hand.   This was the result of 3yrs hard work at university a milestone in my life the day I went from being a student with CP to a professional Counsellor/Psychotherapist my Graduation Day.

10 yrs on I am highly experienced practitioner I volunteer at Cancer Support Scotland as a counsellor, and I have a small private practice where I counsel people with disabilities like me.

I have achieved so much in my life despite of the challenges of having cerebral palsy brings these have been all physical absolutely nothing to do with intelligence, I started a mainstream school when I was 4yrs old, Passed all my exams at secondary school and college and then worked as an information worker, before changing careers and going to university.

So my doctors and specialists got it wrong just like many others do,  I want to shout it loud and clear that people with cerebral palsy are INTELLIGENT.

My life as an ambulatory wheelchair user – Mhairi McKendrick

As part of Cerebral Palsy Awareness Month, Mhairi shares her story of being an ambulatory wheelchair user and the stigma that she has faced.

My name is Mhairi McKendrick and I have been living with cerebral palsy for 23 years now. As it is Cerebral Palsy Awareness Month, I thought I would share my thoughts on the stigma and misconceptions around being an ambulatory wheelchair user. If you don’t already know the definition of an ambulatory wheelchair user is, from my understanding it is: Someone who can walk but cannot walk for long distances or needs support to do so.

When most people meet me, I am in my wheelchair, because I meet most new people in my life at college. This definitely changes their view of me as a member of the class, they don’t involve me as much as the other people in my class, I should mention that I am the only person in my class that uses walking aids or use a wheelchair. It could just be a personality clash, but I’m not so sure. It doesn’t help that I am quite introverted when in my everyday life.

The way they treat me just shows that the stigma of fear of the unknown is still rampant in today’s society. It kind of annoys me because I have done nothing to my knowledge to make them feel weird around me. Like when I drop something when I am sitting in my wheelchair, sometimes I can pick up the item by getting out of my wheelchair but most of the time I have very little to no energy to do this. When this happens I have to ask my classmates for help and I cannot help but think that they’re thinking ‘Why does she need help?? she can walk!’ but they never ask me why I need the help.

From family testimonials, I know that it took me until I was 3 years old to walk unaided for 100 meters. This was a massive relief for my parents and a big raspberry to the face for the doctor that told them I would probably never walk or talk independently. As you now know I can do both of those things. One of the biggest blessings that has helped me maintain my stamina during my childhood specifically week-long physio that I had access to from the age of 2 till I finished high school. Without them I would not have kept the amount of stamina that I have.

Throughout the pandemic and even then, I have definitely lost a lot of it through not having the motivation or opportunity to walk during that time. The biggest stigma I have faced as a part time wheelchair user is something I touched on earlier- the confusion over why some ambulatory people need wheelchairs. For me its 2 factors: pain and energy levels.

Sitting here and writing this article: my ankles ache, my lower back is throbbing and I think that if I try to stand up I may just fall over or severely stumble over my own feet. It could be a whole other reason that someone who can walk makes use of a wheelchair. It is up to us as a society to normalise every version of wheelchair using there is. Not all wheelchair users are paralysed. Not all people who use a wheelchair are unable to communicate.

Here are some statistics about Cerebral Palsy: 1 in 3 are unable to walk. About 40-50 percent of individuals with cerebral palsy are wheelchair users.

The energy used to move by a person with cerebral palsy is three to five times more than that of a person without cerebral palsy. I am extremely grateful for the opportunity I have had throughout my life. So that I gained the skill of walking and had access to a manual wheelchair so I could access the world.

Exploring the connection between cerebral palsy and anxiety – Guinni Baker

As part of Cerebral Palsy Awareness Month, Guinni shares her story of being an adult with cerebral palsy and experiencing anxiety. 

So I’m an adult now and cerebral palsy hits differently than it did when I was a kid. There are no regular doctors’ visits or physio sessions – no one worries about growth-spurts and leg lengths any more. I don’t get called names in the playground, (not that I’m aware of anyhow.. though I did recently find a note in a social area that read ‘Ms Baker leans and walks.’ I’m a depute head teacher in a secondary school and you bet I do, wee yin! Thanks for noticing!), I’m pretty aware of what I can and can’t do and moderate as needs be. The children in school almost instinctively swirl round me on stairwells, ensuring I always have my trusty bannister to my right and family, friends and colleagues are amazingly supportive and understanding. What I find difficult can mean that someone else takes on a little bit more and its so appreciated. So many little points of assistance in familiar spaces with familiar faces which make you feel comfortable and – I don’t know how else to say it – normal.

I wanted to talk about anxiety in this blog. It’s been a huge and, at times, pretty crippling part of my life. I had a complete breakdown around twenty years ago and had two awful years recovering from it. I didn’t even know what anxiety was at the time but I could barely function and genuinely felt I was losing my grip on life completely. Looking back now I can see that what happened then wasn’t isolated. But I had no knowledge or understanding – just fear.

I couldn’t do my hair as a teenager. It drove me crazy. I was 16 before I successful managed a ponytail and that’s still about the most I can do with it. The frustration and upset of that was out of all proportion to what I was trying to do but hours in front of the mirror and a hairbrush that got chucked across the room was not unusual.  (Shout out to my two sisters who were always happy to save the day, the mirror and my sanity lol)

I recently had an adult assessment at Cerebral Palsy Scotland and asked them about the link between cp and anxiety. Was there one? The physiotherapist said that I have to work harder to get to the baseline of daily activities and over time that can cause stresses and anxiety. This really hit home for me. I don’t like change – never have but I started to wonder if this could go some way to explaining that? Staying in familiar circumstances means I don’t need to rev so hard to get by – in familiar places and surroundings I know what to do. I don’t need to wonder if I’m going to hit a wall; get stuck; can’t do it; need help in an unfamiliar place with unfamiliar people. That’s no way to go through life though and I do fight it as much as I can. I especially hate travel – that just seems to click all my cp buttons. I like being places though so every holiday planned is a love/hate/fear three act play. Never regretted going anywhere though!

I went through the worst of it before having my children – and I’m so glad I did. Having children is such a physical endeavour – in every way – and I found a lot of it painstaking! 52 poppers to change nappy / vest / baby grow. I wouldn’t bathe either of them as babies- my husband did it until they could sit up and don’t even start me on car seats and buggies!! My son, as a baby, would instinctively roll towards my dominant hand when I went to lift him from his cot. That always made me smile.

They are both now teenagers and help me in so many ways daily. My daughter stopped me from referring to my ‘bad hand’. She said I shouldn’t talk about it that way.

So now as an adult the challenges are different. I don’t want to restrict myself because I’m scared I can’t do something immediately and comfortably. No one ever said no when I asked for help and no one should ever feel too proud to ask for help when they need it – whether it’s carrying drinks back from the bar or talking about mental health – there’s always someone who will listen and move you on a little.

In the last year I’ve tried to take far more pride in what I can do rather than focus on what I can’t. I feel more connected to my body and I try to develop that connection in the gym and on walks so I can take pride in the progress I make (feeling wee, hard muscles on my cp side following my shaky efforts in the gym gives me total joy!). So for my final blog of CP Awareness Month I’m going to leave you with my top tips:

  • Develop what you can – maintain what you can. Move as much as you can.
  • Take help when you need it – don’t avoid experience and never make a decision based on fear
  • Talk about mental health. Saying you’re feeling anxious today should be as natural as saying ‘ you’re getting cold’.
  • Get in touch with CP Scotland. Their support, warmth, knowledge and kindness is amazing
  • And finally, always carry hand gel if bannisters are a necessity for you lol

Living as a person of colour with cerebral palsy – Ruthanne Miller

Hello, My name is Ruthanne Miller, I’m 26 years old and I am from London, I have Diplegia, cerebral palsy.

I also have chronic pain and as a person of colour in my personal experience when I tell medical professionals that I am in pain I feel like they do not understand my condition or severity, and they imply it’s in my head. This is because as I am diplegic but able to get to my local doctors without need of my chair, they see me as capable and express dismissive actions. In order to combat this I have utilised my PA’s to come with me to my appointments which helps express the gravity of the situation.

When not in pain I love to go to concerts with my friends. Sometimes it is hard to socialise, it can be a challenge to make new friends, my social group *SHINE* put an end to this and I’m excited to see them again. I like to bring awareness to cerebral palsy and other disabilities on social media as I believe awareness is key.

In the future I would like to work with children with disabilities, as one of my most fond memories is enjoying time with my teaching assistant and them helping me in my starting steps to life. Towards this goal I have completed my level one Maths and English at college and will soon start my level 2. I used to see revising as an obstacle but as I have set a goal That I WANT I know that I can get it done which makes studying and growing somewhat fun.

As a black person there are certain stereotypes you have no choice but to overcome such as, “Your strong don’t talk about how you feel” this one is a very self-destructive and mentally draining.

Another thing they say is … “You have no choice but to outperform everyone else if you want to even slightly stand out” this gives you a feeling of no self-worth and makes it hard to appreciate yourself and your achievements. I make it my duty to surround myself around positive people, which in this day and age is like a needle in a haystack – so I’m thankful for who I have.

I think that more education should be taught in schools about all disabilities not even just cerebral palsy and the fact that not all disabilities are visible. In the future,  I hope to see a more inclusive society and better understanding of what Cerebral Palsy is in adults, I can’t wait to see this day.